Examples of Using the Phrases (From Each Situation)

In the first situation, you may want to show interest.
People like to talk when they feel heard. A simple follow up or “Tell me more” shows you care and invites a longer answer.
For example, the other person may make the comment: “I just got back from a food festival.”
If you are stuck for what to say next, simply show interest and allow them to continue.
So, you could say, “Really? Tell me more.”

In the second situation, you simply ask open questions. Avoid yes or no questions because that can lead the conversation nowhere.
Questions that start with how / why / what can’t be answered with “yes” or “no,” so the conversation keeps flowing.
For example, the other person may make the comment: “I play tennis on weekends.”
You could ask, “What do you enjoy most about it?”
This allows them to elaborate more on the topic.

In the third situation, you are first agreeing with them and then adding an idea of your own.
So first, you show you understand; then you add a small idea of your own. This builds a sense of connection.
For example, they make the comment, “Working from home can be lonely.”
You might respond with: “I know what you mean. I often miss the office talk, so I play music to feel less alone.”
So you first agree by saying: “I know what you mean.”
Then you add your idea such as, “I often miss the office talk, so I play music to feel less alone.”

The fourth situation will have you Reflect or paraphrase.
Repeating the other person’s idea in your own words checks understanding and proves you’re listening. It also gives them a chance to correct or expand.
For example, someone might say “I might move to Canada for a year.”
This could mean several different things to you. So, paraphrase what you think it means so that you know whether you understand or not.
You might ask, “So, you mean you’ll try living abroad before deciding long term?”
The other person may correct your thought, or they may expand on the topic. In this case they may give more detail about what they intend to do.

The fifth situation buys thinking time.
These are fillers that give your brain a moment to organize ideas so you sound calm and confident, not silent or panicked.
For example, If someone asks you, “Which city would you like to visit next?”
You could say, “That’s a good question… let me think for a second…”
Then when you have a chance to think of an answer, tell them a city and why you want to visit. 

Finally, just smoothly change the topic.
Good small talk moves naturally. Phrases like “Speaking of…” create a bridge, so the shift feels logical, not random.
For example, If someone says, “I’m reading a book on healthy cooking.”
You might say, “Speaking of cooking, have you ever tried making sushi at home?”
This keeps the topic very similar, but takes it on a path that you may be more comfortable talking about.

Tips for Success

Ask follow up questions
Use question starters like: who, what, where, when, why, or how to dig deeper. Avoid yes or no questions.
For example, someone says, “I just started learning photography.”
You could answer, “That’s cool! How did you get interested in it?”

Echo a key word
With this strategy you repeat an important word as a question to invite details.
For example, someone could say, “My weekend was a bit chaotic because of the concert downtown.”
You could respond with, “The concert?
This allows them to expand more on the topic.

With the following strategy, you share a small detail
So, after a statement, add a short related fact about yourself to keep the conversation balanced. This is one of my favorite ways to keep the conversation going – especially when you add a follow-up question.
For example, someone says, “I’m planning a trip to Greece next summer.”
You would then react, share a detail, and then ask them a related question.
You might respond with, “Nice! I went there two years ago and loved the islands. Which places are on your list?”

With this next strategy you listen for feelings or emotions.
Notice emotion words and respond to them, not just the facts.
For example, a friend says, “I’m nervous about giving my first presentation in English.”
If you were to ask, “What is the presentation about?” then you are asking about the facts. But they said they were nervous about it, and that may be more meaningful to them. So, respond to that emotion.
You might say, “I understand—that can feel stressful. What part worries you most?”

Finally, you can always buy thinking time if you need it.
As I said earlier, you can use fillers like “Let me think…” so silence doesn’t break the flow. We all get questions now and then that we just aren’t prepared to answer on the spot.
For example, if someone asks, “If you could live in any country for a year, where would you choose?”
You might answer, “Hmm… let me think for a moment… Maybe Japan, because I love the culture and food.”

Practical Exercise

1. Choose three phrases from the list.
2. Use them in a 5 minute conversation today (in person or online).
3. Afterwards, note which phrase felt easiest and why. Repeat with new phrases tomorrow.